Resolution Solution
I hate making New Year’s resolutions.
I don’t do it anymore. There are two reasons that I ceased that practice. One is simply that January is an arbitrary marker of time and I’ve found that my birthday, when I have another full year’s worth of days under my belt, is a better occasion for personal reflection. The other is that I was never able to stick to my resolutions.
Every year I would go through a list of character defects I’d want to overcome, projects that I would like to finish, people with whom I’d like to connect…and screenplays or novels I’d like to write. And every year, somewhere around March if I was lucky, the realization would hit that I was off course, missing the mark, and I would throw my hands up in surrender and slide back into the well worn behavioral tracks previously known.
This is still a pattern I experience, even when using my birthday as a start date. When I was reflecting on writing this post, I realized I could share two insights on why I fail. Use them as you will.
1. Unrealistic Goals: Often my resolutions emerge as grand, life-changing plans which are way beyond anything I should expect. It may be more reasonable to not expect goal completion within the next year, which means I need to break it down so that I don’t have to wait for five years before seeing results. Also, there are goals that have aspects over which I have no control. For example, if I finish a screenplay, setting a goal of “selling” it may be impossible, as I have little control over the person on the other end of that process who makes that choice. A better goal may revolve around number of submissions per month and my work on the next project. I need to create goals that I can achieve within the time frame I give myself.
2. Vague Goals: How often have I thrown out “write a novel” as a resolution? Embarrassing! Even though that may be a great goal and a possible goal, the fact that I have no plan for achieving that goal sinks me every time. The answer here is to sit down and figure out the steps involved that would bring the goal to completion. For a novel it may mean having a daily word count or page goal. It may be just allotting a set amount of time on certain days of the week for writing. The process of defining a plan may actually change the goal. If my plan is to write one hour every morning five days a week, it may be better to set my plan as my goal since I don’t know how much work I will actually finish by the end of the year.
There is one very important realization I need to keep in mind. It’s not very valuable to put all kinds of importance and weight on a particular day of the year, whether it’s New Year’s or my birthday. What is important is that each day I choose to use my time to align with the priorities in my life.
As the Twelve Step programs say, “One day at a time”. That way, when I blow it (as I surely will), I don’t have to throw in the towel. I have the next day to pick up where I left off.
Happy New Year everyone!
~ Kirk
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Great point. I was actually thinking about some of this myself recently. On the one hand, New Year is an opportunity to start over, but on the other hand, it’s a time of unnecessary pressures to change in a noticeable and admirable way. I’ve even found that setting colossal goals takes the joy away from daily practices, because I’m so focused on the end product that the little daily choices seem meaningless in themselves. And with writing, that is a deathblow.
Right now, my goal is to continue to write SOMETHING everyday, and I’m also trying to create a space for myself in our house - a place conducive to writing without distraction.
“What is important is that each day I choose to use my time to align with the priorities in my life.” Amen. Underline that word “choose.” Isn’t that the hard part.